How to be Abnormal

Sleep Very Late, Wake up Very early: Try sleeping very late and waking up very early, everyday. It’s the acclaimed way to making good impacts, it shows you are very busy and productive. It also grooms you into having a great life, after all you are always busy and you hardly sleep. That is, until you land in the hospital because you were trying to kill yourself with lack of sleep. Then you keep falling sick till you are old and have a boring life just because you refused to give your body the amount of rest that it needs.

Have Complex Intelligent Discussions: Complex discussions are awesome aren’t they? They show that the discussants have read a lot and learnt a lot. They are essential to showing that you are very smart and highly intelligent. After all they show every other person the stuff you are made of. The result? You become so smart that nobody understands you and they don’t want to have discussions with you, Mr Over brainy. You eventually have a pretty lonely, normal environment at all times, so boring I hope you don’t die of boredom. My uncomplicated advice: use this principle, KISS- Keep It Simple and Short.

Birth Ideas and Keep them in a Safe Place: Ideas are the most glorious things that happened to humanity. They keep a man going through the tough times and keep his heart awake. It is basically the reason most people keep their ideas to themselves alone, not sharing it with other people. They are scared and don’t want to get their ideas stolen, ambushed or killed. So, they store the ideas in a safe place, their head. Or so, they think. Until it rots and spoils in the head having not been executed. And of course, ideas not shared, and executed give you a pretty normal life. Take that awesome idea, keep it to yourself and have a very normal mundane life.

Do Not Eat: A man has to be able to level his eating to the barest minimum and eat almost nothing everyday. It shows control, brilliance and great attitude to things that are more important than food. Well, until your lack of food kills you or at least does some damage to you.

Food is very essential to your body and brain. Eat! Don’t harm yourself on purpose. Get the best food processor when preparing your food.. And if you love food to the point of gluttony, I guess you are on a faster lane to killing yourself.

Act Like a Genius all the Time: Act like you know it, all the time. Even when you are sure you know nothing about the subject matter, you act like you are an expert. Puff up your shoulders, raise them high, do the part of a “know it all” and learn nothing from anybody. After all you are the genius, what do you want to learn from people? Nothing. And you’ll definitely live a life of nothingness.

Do Mega-Weird Things Every day: Do weird things everyday and become the king of Weirdom. Don’t have your bath, do fuzzy things, be vague and strange to the point where you lose the essence of who you are. Do all those bizarre, creepy stuff that a lot of people do these days. The end result- Normal life. Since you refused to balance yourself out.

Bother Not About Anyone: Be a lone ranger, after all you don’t need friends. Neither do you need family. It’s all just hogwash and  lip service. Shove everyone aside and become a hermit, you don’t need people.

Okay, you probably know where that will land you in life. Yes, that life of normalcy in huge screaming silence. And, I’ll be saying, “good for you, you have done well”

WRITTEN BY
Nathan Jeffery
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